in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
