Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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