Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
