i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
