return my video game
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
