In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
