All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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