hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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