I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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