Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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