Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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