god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
