And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
