just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
