The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My bed smells like the plague
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
