we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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