I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
