The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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