Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
