Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
