for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
