is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
