All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
