can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
