We won't sleep together?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
