I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I feel like death gave me a hand job
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
