i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
