you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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