Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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