butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
