Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
