Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
