I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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