drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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