Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
