He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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