Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
