Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize