Where is the hickey?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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