I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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