Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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