have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
