On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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