Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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