it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
