I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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