Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
