Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
