My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
