weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
