You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
