shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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