oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
