we're blogging at a bar
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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