I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
