Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
