There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
