And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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