It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have fence marks all over my body
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
