Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Is Oprah even human
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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