Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
